Hunter Bonner/Contributing writer
The Founders of this country spoke at great length of the need to have a “civil society”. The very definition of “civility” is, “formal politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech.” In today’s political and social climate, civility seems to have been thrown out a long time ago with the bathwater.
To get right to the point, shouting, or speaking to one another in a disrespectful tone is not civil. Instead of fostering an environment of cooperation towards a goal, it immediately puts the defense mechanisms up amongst those involved. Ultimately, it leads to nothing being accomplished. This happens at the highest forms of our government systems, and yes, it trickles right down to the local level.
However, the lack of civility of speech and behavior is not the fault of elected officials alone. Members of the public could use a first class lesson in showing respect towards a governmental body, and each other. I have noticed many times during local government meetings, people who address the city council, or other elected officials in other offices, do so without the use of proper title, and or decorum.
To be completely frank, there are some in this community that have long since crossed the line of civility. Arrogant tones, dismissive attitudes, and generally being difficult seem to be the only thing that some are capable of. But it does not just begin and end with office holders. This attitude carries over into personal relations with others, and oftentimes, that is where such conflict originates.
Perhaps someone said, or did something to you that you thought was way out of line? Maybe in fact, they were out of line, but the situation never got resolved. Perhaps this happened decades ago. However, both parties never sat down, like adults, and discussed things the way civil people should in a civil society, and work towards a resolution, or at a bare minimum, an understanding. From my observation, not doing this has led to decades of discontent that affects everyone around them.
To be transparent, recently I ran into a situation where I was at odds with someone over a situation. Now to be fair, when we feel like we are wronged, as emotional creatures, we are going to react emotionally, which often crosses into being irrational. However, in a civil society, that is where we have to make the conscious decision to do one of the following:
• We embrace that sense of being wronged, and will live the rest of our lives at odds with someone. Even if this directly, or indirectly, affects others in a negative way, thus perpetuating discontent.
or
• We make the decision that life is too short to live at odds with someone for the rest of our life. We act as adults, contact that other person, and attempt to work things out. The ideal outcome is a total reconciliation. We choose to make amends and thus, make a better world around us.
Now of course there are going to be exceptions where something cannot be worked out. However, how often do people actually make the effort to attempt a resolution? Instead, they carry that baggage everywhere they go – from personal interactions, all the way to how they interact with all levels of government. What is left in its wake is discontent, unfulfilled projects that would better the community, and tragically in a number of cases, pure hatred for their fellow man.
Can you imagine a community what all could get accomplished when we check our pride and egos at the door? We would see Jefferson/Marion County flourishing like we have never seen her before! This is where we as a community should start in terms of moving forward. Call that person up, have a coffee, and work things out. Do not be afraid to apologize, and just listen to one another.
As a community, let us all make a pledge to end “business as usual” in terms of how we treat each other. Let us return to a civil society in our personal lives, which will have a positive ripple effect on everyone around us.
Hunter Bonner is the President of the Marion County Republican Assembly, and a lifelong political activist. He can be reached at hunterbonner@outlook.com. His views are his own.