Rick Smith
“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.” Mark Twain
I remember very well a conversation with Ms. Ellie twenty years ago. But before I wade into the deep end of that pool, you need a snippet of backstory. Born in the mid-50s, she is seven months and three days my senior. We were 49 years old. Her birthday was less than a week away.
“Just think,” she said one morning, cradling a coffee cup in both hands. “We will soon be 50 years old.”
There’s a facial expression that dismounts the moment a devilish thought head-butts my brain. She saw it.
“What!” she said.
And there’s that moment it takes control of my tongue.
“Go ahead and say it,” she coaxed, knowing that such thoughts can back up like nasty sewage if unspoken.
Using the toe of my left shoe against the heel of my right shoe and then the toe of my right foot against the heel of the left shoe, I maneuvered out of my boat shoes. I carefully dipped my right foot into the pool of good and evil, and said, “Oh, no, no, baby. When you are in your 50s, I shall still be in my 40s.”
She set her coffee cup down, leaned my way, locked eyes with me, cleared her throat, all the while smiling, and, with a bit of crispness in her voice, said, “I wouldn’t entertain that if I was you. It won’t get you what you want.” We both laughed like a drain but not to the point of rolling about the carpet and kicking over chairs.
Aging is as predictable as a flea circus. To live is to age. Inasmuch as aging is a disease, aging gracefully is a work of art. A collector’s piece painted by an old-world master. Aging gracefully means spritzing your words with the citrusy zest of life and upgrading to a free-swinging sense of humor.
Aging gracefully has little to do with growing old. Growing old is more of an attitude. It’s getting the rhyme wrong whereas aging gracefully is haiku.
Graceful aging is / old friends, pinkies interlocked, / facing the sunset.
Einstein warned us, “Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born.”
Aging gracefully is complex. To age gracefully involves discipline. It may mean opting for a salad instead of a deep-dish pizza. Or choosing an exercise session over a Netflix marathon. Aging gracefully may mean recognizing that our children are not ours to keep. Or being the first to say, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
The beautiful Ms. Ellie recently turned 70 and, yes, I’m still in my 60s – well, at least for a couple more months. We’ve told the story from 20 years ago countless times and each time, we laugh like a drain. But there is one thing different at this stage in life. We laugh like a drain and, if the occasion calls for it, roll about the carpet and kick over chairs.
Rick Smith is a Jeffersonian and can be reached at theriquemeister@gmail.com.